Why I admire my cuckquean wife.
Originally Posted on FetLife
I have been all sides of the cuckold equation, including the Informed Consent kink model and totally unaware, bad karma model, and I have been a fan of and contributed some to cuckold fiction. In the last year or so, I have become the cheating part of a cuckquean marriage. We got off to a quick start of bringing new pussy into the bedroom, but then we moved to a new city, and the action has slowed down. This has given us valuable time to reflect and discuss what we are doing and where we want it to go. This has also given us time to explore the writings on the lifestyle by the few who bare all to the internet.
There is talk of the practical aspects of planning or aftermath, the fantasy we are trying to achieve, but rarely do I see discussion of the root of this sexual interest slash lifestyle. I’d like to suggest that it may be eroticization of fear. Perhaps, the worst fears.
I am currently a cheating husband to a wife who supports and encourages my straying. So far, my more serious play-partners know our dynamic and enjoy the play. We are talking about my moving towards a more typical scenario of cheating with another woman who does NOT know about our kinky life – a woman who just thinks I am a normal cheater and gets off on the power she thinks she has over my wife, not knowing that my wife holds all the cards, since she knows all about the cheating and even helps plan trysts.
This may be the current situation, but it’s been a long journey since I was a boyfriend cheated upon, to a cheating boyfriend myself, to a Bull in a classic Cuckold marriage (both with and without consent), to this. Over time, I’ve seen a lot of aspects to the fantasy and the lifestyle, and I wonder how much it has to do with the thrill of risking the most important thing they have?
The fear, I think, is of losing their spouse, and subsequently their whole world view in terms of the marriage. Most men believe, somewhere in their head or heart, that a woman will leave a lesser fuck for a better fuck, even if their experience runs contrary to that theory. It’s the heart of insecurity, fear running counter to reason or observation, and winning. A person is watching their spouse have (supposedly, allegedly) bettter sex with someone else, they get all those feelings of jealousy and threat to their well-being. Spouse is more satisfied and often makes this verbally clear – but even in the most outlandish of fantasies, the spouse does not completely leave the marrriage, pack the bags, abandon the children, and disappear. People who fantasize about that do so because they hate their spouse and are too cowardly to do anything about it. No, the sexual fantasy does require that they stay married, and that there is always a connection between the couple, which varies among individuals.
But to flirt with the possible loss, to even come to the point where you feel like it’s happening to any degree – that is deeply scary to anyone. The fear makes it all the more intense – the emotions, jealously, humiliation, and of course the voyeur experience. Your more typical variety of cuck – the man with the cheating wife – may play with the threat of loss, but his odds of reaching that brink are slight. Married women cheat in great numbers, I’ve enjoyed a few myself, but they rarely leave their family. On average, the woman is less likely to trade in their domestic situation and all that it entails, for a younger better fuck. In contrast, men have a long history with just such a move. We even have a name for that second wife after the trade-in.
My point is that if fear is a significant, if not major part of the thrill, isn’t the cucquean feeling the greater risk? A woman with a cheating husband has the statistics and the anecdotal evidense all on her that the risk is real. Just looking over our personal cuckquean encounters – the other woman has been: blond with huge tits, teenage babysitter, my wife’s best friend – exactly the kind of girl a man exactly like me leaves his wife for. We have even discussed what makes some girls more attractive for her to watch me fuck, and it is their stereotypical nature that makes the above list so exciting for her.
I can’t help but think of compulsive gamblers when I imagine the fear of total loss that comes with this. You could potentially lose it all – this is a greater thrill than the chance of winning some. But unlike the gambler, this is just a matter of whom you play with. I consider myself very dedicated to my wife. I reassure her when we talk about the fantasy, and I know that when we engage in a scene, she will need a lot of aftercare, which I am happy to give – I dote on her whenever I can. She doesn’t wish to be emotionally starved (although I recognize that some do want this), but just feel that jealous pang in her gut for a short time. She wants to know she is first in my heart, even if she is second to my cock. It’s still a gutsy move, putting all her faith in me, and I recognize the weight this trust has.
So lets pause a minute and admire the cucks of both genders – but particularly the cucquean woman – for their superior courage in exploring and indulging in such fear-play. Comparatively, I’m a total wuss. Nothing about either of my major fears (being unworthy of love, or confronted by large cockroaches) is remotely interesting to explore, let alone get erect over. To live this fantasy in the face of overwhelming fear is a kind of courage we should all admire.
To that end, I want to participate more on this forum, and write more about our experiences to help other’s take this leap, but to do so in the most responsible way possible. My wife is also starting a blog dedicated to this kink. It is not to compete with the other journals listed here – rather, it’s necessary to create the resources that we all failed to find when first exploring this. All the cucquean women here have different experiences, and different levels of satisfaction in the pursuit of the lifestyle. The more we show, the more we create, the easier it will be for others to find the path.
For the old people here – remember exploring kinky interests before the internet? No idea where to start, what was acceptable, how to learn and build skills, or where to just talk to someone who’s been there? This is perhaps the least discussed angle of non-monogamous lifestyle I’ve encountered. We want to support the other journals when we get ours up, happy to cross-link, but also not leaving behind a great forum to bring the experiences and ideas together.